I am sure you are all thinking – wow this lady knows the answer to why kids fight sleep?  She must be brilliant! Honestly, I have no freaking clue why my kids fight sleep.  I am just trying to put myself in their shoes to come up with a few thoughts going through their head.  Enjoy!

First of all, my baby fights sleep.  Dear God WHY?!  You are in your prime little one; I am there to hold you, change you, feed you, and snuggle you to the end of time.  But really, since I have to become your mind reader, we both need sleep. I think to myself what goes through her head throughout the night when it’s getting to be that time and no matter how many yawns or cries or almost falling asleep in any location – she chooses to fight it.  What I think my baby is thinking…

A. This circle of entertainment really is entertaining.  I mean, how can my parents expect me to go to sleep with all this fun around me.  I don’t actually want to be in here anymore but if I pretend like I am having the time of my life, they won’t put me to bed.

B. If they put me to bed I am going to have to listen to that ridiculous sound machine thing or watch those stupid fishes move again.  NEWS FLASH mom and dad.  I hate them both.

C. If I go to sleep right now, I might miss a huge party that’s going to happen.  Maybe a few of my baby friends will arrive and I want to be on my A Game.

D. I don’t like being told what to do.  Yes, I know, I am a baby but I don’t like it when you force me to go to bed before I am ready.  It’s bad enough that I was forced out of your womb after 9 months.  The least you can do is give me this.

E. I can nap all day long.  What makes you think going to bed at night is some special privilege for me when I can sleep whenever I want.  Let’s be realistic here.

F. You can TOTALLY put me to bed.  But just know I will either wake you up at least 3 times tonight or get my leg stuck in the crib and cry till you save me or I’ll wait till I am changed and in bed to poop all over myself – because I have to stick it to the man aka you and dad.

G. If I go to sleep right now, I can’t annoy my sister anymore.  How can you expect me to go to bed without screaming at her or pulling her hair when she is actually trying to be nice to me for once. SHAME.

When I think about why my five-year old fights sleep, it’s pretty different.  Apart from the fact that she can completely tell me why she doesn’t want to go to bed, I know the thoughts in her head are a million times crazier than what she is telling me.  What my take is on my 5 year olds excuses.

A. My favorite TV show is on.  First of all mom and dad, I have no idea what show this is.  I have never watched it before and I don’t want to watch it now, but I also do not want to go to bed.  I also don’t want to have to get in my PJ’s because being a princess is way more exciting than going to bed.

B. I can’t go to bed until I have a snack. Really I am so stuffed.  The thought of a snack makes me tired.  But I refuse to let you win.  And I know you won’t let me go to bed starving and begging for a snack. So basically this round belongs to me.

C. I just love you and dad so much. Ok, I really do love you guys but that’s not preventing my sleep at all.  I know you are in the other room but if I tug at your heartstrings, you will probably give in and I can watch that show I never heard of and stay up all night.

D. I am not even tired. Yes, I am exhausted.  The thought of keeping my eyes open for another second is killing me.  But that’s between me myself and I . Not you guys.  Another win for me!

E. Can’t we read just one book? I know how to make this last!  I just choose the longest book I can find and I know you can’t just read some of it because we read it in school and therefore I know what happens so you won’t be able to pull a fast one.  Looks like I am up to 3 wins right now.

F. I have to go to the bathroom. I just went to the bathroom; you actually saw me go to the bathroom less than five minutes ago.  But I can totally pretend that I have to poop, and then spend a long time washing my hands with the soap that comes out like foam, its my favorite.

G. I can’t annoy my sister. She thinks she won this round but how can you expect me to go to bed without pissing off my darling little baby sister one more time.  Like she said, SHAME.

With that being said, I guess I should go to bed because before I know it my baby who finally gave in will be up again to “hang out” around 2AM and my 5 year-old and I will be fighting that its time for school and she didn’t get enough sleep.

KIDS: 1 MOM&DAD: 0

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